Grateful today for my morning journaling insight. As I awakened, I was dreaming of a friend who had passed several years back, and I never had the chance to say good bye but the service I was dreaming about was so her!
I continued to reflect and thought the lessons I learned from losing so many people in my 20's. That families can be torn apart if they allow it. That everyone approaches death and dying from their own previous experiences and if they have never experienced death, they watch closely how those they love, and respect handle it. That I handled losing six people between 27 to 30 handled it the best that I could, but knew I needed to heal and so began the journey.
Now, a year later, after mom's passing, I understand that I had begun the work to heal years before she passed. I knew that I did not want to repeat what I had seen and done in my 20's. The best part because I did the work, I was able to mourn her loss, but knew that I had done everything I could to the best of my ability.
I always said I did I all I did before she passed because I didn't want regrets. I wanted us to live fully while she was still here, and we did. Were there times when I was frustrated absolutely! Yet I knew in my heart that I was doing this, not only for her, but for me. I still ache for her spunkiness and her wit and humor. Yet she is with me, all around me and smiling as I begin this next chapter without her physical presence.
I begin this next chapter alone but surrounded by many who love and support me.
Mindfulness Retreat more insights.
Second revelation of being on a silent retreat for seven days. Thoughts come and thoughts go. They are just that thoughts. There were over 211 others who were participating on this virtual retreat 22 countries represented and yes even though it was virtual there was a connection. Taking time to just be present is a gift, yet it is also hard. I did break my silence on Thursday because as I was doing my meditation walk a puppy appeared, scared, lost and just wanting someone to see him. I walked around my neighborhood asking if he belonged to anyone, nope, drove him around a further parameter, nope no one looking for him. I took him to my vets office South Monroe Animal Hospital they found his owner. Thank goodness he was chipped. I left and entered back into the retreat until it ended on Friday.
Would I ever do this again YES! 100% I will do another one. Why? Because I was able to dive deeper into my meditation practice. I was able to gain a deeper understanding of the importance of connecting at the deepest level. This is a journey I have been on for quite some time, but I am just diving deeper than ever before. I started with Transcendental Meditation about ten years ago thanks to Donna M. Anderson, but really didn't gain much. Then I connected with Kelly Powers my mentor and friend. He introduced me to the simplicity of stop, pause, breathe and receive. Ever since then I have been on this journey of just being present, being aware of how I am reacting and diving deeper into just being. A deep bow of appreciation to all of you, These practices have helped me while caring for mom and her passing. Grief is handled by everyone in their own unique way. I am just grateful I was able to be present during this part of the journey.
The necklace I am holding in this picture is one my mom had designed for me when my father passed 31 years ago this December 1st. It is his wedding band with her diamond. She told me then it was so I would always have them with me. I know and feel that they are.
Seven days of being still and silent?
Some thoughts on my recent silent retreat. As I began this I must admit I was a little nervous. Go without social media? Me? Really? By the third day I realized that as I was meditating and reflecting I have never actually completely shut down. Not once, in my entire life, had I just stopped completely and been left with focusing on breathing and meditating. Yes I had done a half day and even a weekend retreat but to just be, nope not really.
A lot of "stuff" came up in those first few days and I allowed the process to unfold. I discovered my "top 20 hits" of stories I tell myself, some really negative, others just that "blah, blah, blah" voice. Others that I had thought I had gotten rid of a long time ago reared their head to say "Yep still lurking deep down in you subconscious." Those were the ones I was able to quiet the quickest.
I also remember why I have been and continue to be such an advocate for self-care. If we don't fuel our own cup to overflowing how can we as caretakers, healers, coaches, counselors continue to give to others without depleting our own supply?
One other discovery that came up for me personally, a question asked by one of my teachers "who do I go to get support from?" After that question I really had to pause. I realized that I really don't ask for help or reach out to others for assistance. I thought I had a bit when mom began to fail last year, but really after she passed on I went back to my old habits of plowing through, there was one dear friend who has continuously pushed through that veil I hold up and I am very grateful for that. Yet, I also know in my heart, that I need to continue to reach out and seek out others for conversation, support and just being present with one another. Especially in this crazy world that we live in and have been in for the past 18 months.
None of us are alone. I am here for you and I know a lot of you are there for me. Now let's stop saying those words and follow up with an action. A call, a walk, a coffee or tea outside or even a quick zoom call.
Let's stop being so busy and saying one day we will get together and instead take an action step to actually doing that.
Change can be like a Carnival
Have you ever been to a carnival? You know the one with the Merry-Go-Round, Fun House and games that you never really can win at?
Have you ever felt you were going around and around and not really getting anywhere?
Ever felt like when you looked in the mirror your reflection back was distorted, Not what you thought you looked like at all?
Ever felt like the game was rigged and only a select few were able to "make it"?
Then the Change Challenge of February 2019 is for you!
You will learn the dynamics of change. You will learn ways to overcome the feelings of being overwhelmed or underwhelmed.
Join the Change Challenge and get a better understanding about why Change is not to be feared but to be embraced.
Change Challenge 2019!
Ready to dive into the Change Challenge?
Change is something that happens to all of us whether we want it or not.
Change can be scary when we are confronting it alone. Why not join us for an opportunity to join others in a month long Change Challenge?
You will be in a closed private group on Facebook where you can post each day to the prompts that you will find.
The Change Challenge is based on a scientific model that has been shown to work and has been used by behavior specialists for over 30 years.
Are you ready to create a new habit? Ready to have a shift in your personal or professional life?
Want to learn the different stages to change and incorporate them into your daily life?
Join the Change Challenge by registering here: Change Challenge 2019!
Creating a Goal Road Map
Creating a road map begins with an inventory.
I have a great worksheet for you - it's free, just sign up for my newsletter to get it!
What is a goal road map?
You start with an end date in mind. Let's use the end of 2019:
Now what do you have to do today to begin the process?
What action step are you going to take to meet that goal?
One idea is to figure out: What is your ideal client?
We have all had clients we worked with and it didn't work out. Look at that client that wasn't the right fit and that can help you find the qualities you want in the perfect client.
My example for my perfect customer is: someone who wants a change, is ready to explore their options and do the work, who is ready and wants to move forward. They are motivated, they trust in the process, they embrace and expect compassion and honesty from their coach and they know that they set the agenda and need to follow through with their tasks. They understand that a coach is someone who helps them stay accountable on task and asks them questions to help peel back the layers of resistance.
I am Worthy
As I reflect and journal over my own life, I came upon the word worthy. Here is what came up:
Let us all start the New Year with this thought!
Change Your Life with One Word
Here is an exercise I do to celebrate the ending of a year and the beginning of a new one. I already shared it in a previous post about giving gratitude for the year [birthday post link].
Now, how do I prepare for the New Year?
I read a book, One Word that Will Change Your Life, a few years back and began incorporating that into my New Year tradition. I take the last two weeks of the year and reflect on what all I've done. I then begin to explore what I would like to come to fruition in the New Year.
I ask deep questions like, If I want success, what does that mean for me? I write down what comes to mind and I keep reflecting. As I journal and reflect, and walk, and reflect, I continue bringing up, What one word would I want to represent the year coming up?
It takes time, it takes reflection, it takes courage to really examine what it is you would like to see come to light.
So, are you ready to begin?
Go on take the leap and if nothing else, read the book, One Word that Will Change Your Life, and dip your toes into the next adventure!
I am here to help you dive deeper and explore your journey. We all need and benefit from having someone come along with us. Let me be your guide on this journey called Life.
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